Archive for January, 2017

How to Say ‘No’ Nicely

January 25, 2017

An organizing friend of mine, Andi Willis, wrote a beautiful blog this week about giving herself Grace. It is a wonderful essay on the ability to be kinder to ourselves. We (many of us women) set high standards for ourselves and do not cut ourselves any slack.

I want to piggy back on this thought and talk about our ability to say ‘No’. I don’t know about you but most times when I’m asked to do something I typically say ‘Yes’ even when in my heart I want to say ‘No’. Does this ever happen to you? I get guilted into taking on projects that I know I’m going to carve time out to complete – time that I would prefer to set aside for an activity of my choosing. I hate to let people down and so will agree to take on the project even when I know it means postponing something else. Other times I get complimented into a task. Someone will say ‘you did such a good job organizing …(fill in the blank) please will you volunteer your time organizing… for us?’ It’s really hard to say no under those circumstances!

I’ve learned that saying ‘No’ selectively can be a form of self-care. It allows me the space to choose the activities to dedicate my time to.

Because saying ‘No’ is a very hard thing for me to do I’ve recently come up with some strategies to allow myself the time and space to say ‘No’ gracefully. These are not by any means new and different strategies. I think we’ve probably all used them at one time or another. I put them together and have multiple copies in strategic places so that I can refer to them when I’m put on the spot and can’t think of the best response.

I have one copy on a bulletin board in my office, another copy in my planner, and a third copy digitally in the notes section of my phone.

1.       Let me check my calendar and I’ll get back to you on ..(when you get back to the person you can say) I’m sorry, I’m not available.

2.       I’m not able to take on any more projects right now. Please feel free to contact me another time.

3.       As much as I would really like to be able to help you with … this is something I’m not comfortable tackling at this time.

Having these phrases handy has helped me better protect my time. They help me say ‘No’ without negativity.

Is saying ‘No’ a problem for you? How have you handled it? Write me back and let me know!

 

Hand writing Time To Say NO concept with red marker

 

 

 

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Quarterly Goals

January 19, 2017

I had a meeting with my business coach last week to talk about my business in general and where I’d like to take it. Of course, I had a flip answer ‘To the Moon’ I replied. That drew the expected chuckle from her. She then said, ‘Really, what are your goals for this year – 2017’. I had no reply. I was deep in thought. I was thinking about all the areas that I want to improve regarding my business.. more speaking, sell more books, work with organizing clients, write my blog. I have an endless list. Being very smart, my coach then asked me to focus on just one topic and create a short term goal. Her question was what would I like to focus on this quarter?

I love this idea which is why I’m sharing it with you. Focusing on just a few things for just a few months makes the goal so much more achievable. Since the end is in sight I better create a plan and write down the steps I need to take, to make measurable progress by the end of March. I like this so much better than planning what I want to have accomplished by the end of December – 12 long months from now.

I encourage you to think about your goals in small chunks. Think about what you would like to accomplish between now and the end of March. Is there a house project? If there is, is it something would contract out or is it a project you want to tackle yourself?

Do you have a personal goal to exercise more? Now is the time to sign up for that gym membership! Or maybe you want to create your own exercise routine. Perhaps you’ll mix it up and create a schedule to walk so many times a week combined with an exercise class or two.

Do you want to cook at home more often? There are many different companies which offer pre-measured ingredients packaged meal by meal and are delivered to your home. You can check them out online.

A great short term goal might be to get control of your papers and filing system. Think about it. If you worked on that a little at a time between now and the end of February. You would accomplish two things. You’d have a paper filing system that is current and you would be able to tackle your taxes in March, enabling you to get them off your desk promptly.

Wow! Aren’t you just loving the thought of these short-term or quarterly goals?

My short-term goal is to focus on promoting the children’s books I wrote with my co-author Jonda Beattie. 

What will you choose to be your short-term goal? Write me back and let me know!

 

 

 

 

Limits?

January 11, 2017

 

Scattered clothes

Happy New Year! I’m so happy to be starting this New Year by writing a blog to share with you. I’ve been thinking a lot about limits recently and why it’s important to know what your personal limits are.

This has come up because some of my clients have had trouble determining how much is enough.

We all have physical limits that are pre-determined by the home in which we live. The closets and cupboards can create limits for us if we let them. However, we sometimes (and yes – I am including myself in this discussion) cram things into these spaces thinking that we can ‘make room’.

I have found that the best way to ‘make room’ is to remove everything from the cupboard or closet and only return those items which you absolutely KNOW that you use and/or love. The temptation is to push things around or to restack everything inside the closet or cupboard because it does take time to completely empty the space and make those decisions.

How does knowing your limit apply here? Well, if you’re headed out to go shopping and you come across a dress or a new platter and you know that your cupboard or closet is full and that you’ve reached the limit of what the space will contain easily. It’s easier to say to yourself something like “I know that if I bring something more into this space I will be removing things that I don’t use or love – do I want it badly enough to reorganize the space or can I decide not to bring it into my home”.

We also have physical limits in terms of what we can physically do. I can’t lift very heavy weights. I know not to try to lift something really heavy because I will end up hurting myself and I definitely don’t want to do that.

Can you change your physical limits? Sure, through diet and exercise or through modifications you may be able to change some things. For instance, I love to walk and I walk at a pretty fast pace. One of my friends walks with me sometimes. I used to have to slow my pace to accommodate my friend. Since we’ve been walking together regularly his pace has picked up and he can walk farther before asking that we turn around. His limit has increased.

We also have spending limits. Do you want to incur more debt to buy this one item or do you have enough at home? Is it necessary to spend this money or can you make the decision to tell yourself ‘not now’. Knowing your spending limits is key. How do you do this? You create a budget and check it regularly.

Another way to curb your spending is to only carry cash. I know it’s inconvenient but it is effective. Without a credit or debit card in your wallet you have to be mindful of your spending limit. I have more about the benefits of carrying cash in my book: Now What? A Simple Organizing Guide.

I talk to my clients about the physical limits their homes provide regularly and ask them to think about how much is enough. What number of ….(you can fill in the blank) makes sense?

Ask yourself this question and see if it helps you set limits within your home. Maybe you’ve already set limits for yourself? I’d love to hear about your limits and if the question: How much is enough makes sense to you.

woman is holding bill and credit card in hands