Archive for the ‘body language’ Category

What Do You Model?

April 20, 2016


Fashion kid concept - beautiful stylish little cute girl child w

No, I’m not asking if you model clothes or if you are featured in magazines. I’m more interested in what behavior you model for the people in your life.

Oh, do I have your attention? Have you ever heard the expression “monkey see, monkey do”? Well this expression describes what often happens. Think about the people in your life who you admire. Do you copy some of the things they do or say? For instance, if someone you admire says ‘I like ….’ (you can fill in the blank) I think you might be inclined to agree with them. Also, if a person I admire says ‘I’m trying to live a healthier lifestyle. So, I’m going to join a fitness club. Do you want to join with me?’ I would probably say ‘sure! I’ll give it a try!’ I’d be doing that because I like and admire the person and want to copy some of the things they do. How about you? What would you do?

Now, think about yourself. Do you have children? What do you do that they might copy? Remember children will copy the good and the not so good behaviors. They are watching you and reading your body language for clues all the time.

If you say ‘Oh, no! There’s so much dusting to do. I hate dusting.’ Then you turn around and say ‘I don’t think I’m going to do that today.’ You teach your children the language to use when they don’t feel like doing something. Conversely, if you say ‘there’s so much dusting to do! I’m going to do a little now and a little later to break it up.’ You model negotiating behavior. You let them know that there’s a lot but that it’s doable by breaking it down into more than one session dusting. The time will come when you ask them to take out the trash (or some other task) and they could say ‘I don’t feel like doing that right now’ or they could negotiate and say ‘how about if I take it out after I finish my homework’.

If you leave your clothes on the floor or draped over furniture and then tell your children to put their clothes away you are giving them the message ‘do as I say, not as I do’.

Think about the behaviors you would like to see in your children. Do you want them to become accustomed to leaving glasses and dishes in their room or do you want them to clear their dishes and glasses to the kitchen sink when they’re finished with them? Maybe even put them into the dishwasher?

Do you want them to leave their shoes laying around the house or is there a place in their closet for their shoes? What about your shoes? Do you leave them where they fall when you kick them off at the end of the day? Or do you kick them off, pick them up and carry them with you to your closet?

Think about the modeling you do now and let me know if you think you want to model some things a little differently or not.



First Impressions

October 24, 2012

First impressions are so very important.  When you make a good first impression it’s easy to have a conversation and get to know someone. When you make a bad first impression you have to work really hard to erase the other person’s pre-conceived notions about you in order to then have a conversation.  This is particularly important if you’re going on a job interview. If you make a good first impression with the interviewer that person will want to know more about you and your qualifications. If you make a bad first impression with the interviewer the time spent in that interview may be cut short. You know you only have about 5 seconds to create that good first impression so how do you do this?

First of all be sure to stand up straight, have a pleasant look on your face, and look the interviewer in the eye when you greet them. I’m sure you know that if you’re slouched over with your shoulders slumped forward you give the impression that you’re not interested. You want the interviewer to see you as an interested and interesting person. You also know that if the expression on your face is worried or concerned with your brow wrinkled that you convey a lack of confidence. That’s the last thing you want an interviewer to think! By looking the interviewer in the eye you are telegraphing confidence and interest.

Dress appropriately for the job. If you are a man interviewing for a teaching position you may want to wear business casual wear. A woman would want to dress demurely; nothing too short or too revealing. If you are interviewing for a job at a bank or at a law firm then business atttire for both men and women is appropriate. But, what if the job is at an advertising agency? Then I suggest you dress creatively. You would want the interviewer to know by looking at you that you have an imagination!

Have you heard the expression ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’? Well, if you have I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. If you haven’t… Be sure to have washed up before you go on a job interview. Take the time to make sure your fingernails are clean and tidy, no rough edges. Have clean hair and clothes. Don’t overdo it with the afershave or perfume. Smelling pleasant is fne but you don’t want your perfume or aftershave to walk in the room before you or stay long after you have left the premises.

I know you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover but how many times have you been drawn to open a book by the interesting graphics or picture on the book jacket? So, create interest in yourself by being confident and showing that confidence in your body language. A friendly expression and a steady gaze will go a long way. Cultivate these things in yourself and you will be sure to create good first impressions.